Have you noticed how certain occasions bring out an “It’s been this way always, what can change?” attitude in us? Mother’s Day is one of these times that for many of us, we have acknowledged the day and the relationships the same, year after year, longing to break out of the mindset, “It’s not that special, I’m not that special or worth all the celebration with how I have treated my kids.” Or, “I can’t genuinely celebrate a mom who was not there for me and has caused pain in my life.”
For women who follow the teachings of Christ, we know that Christ calls us to a new mindset, doesn’t He? The verses inspired by God and written in the Bible prior to the passage that us “Whatever Girls” believe in (the “whatever you think on” verses in Philippians 4:8-9), there is a tender leaning into what Christ has shown us and how we are to offer love to one another even with what we think about. Do you know that our thoughts, our minds can produce humility and kindness to one another or withhold it?
Philippians 2:3 shares that we are to “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit but in humility consider others better than yourself. And that “each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others (verse 4). And “Your attitude should the same as that of Christ Jesus” (verse 5). Yes, wow! How closely have you linked your attitude to your mind? It’s a stretch sometimes, isn’t it?
I (Blythe) see this so clearly in myself, and if I were to tell you what I’d like my kids to celebrate this Mother’s Day it would be that I’m more myself, that I’m free to give more time to them and that my attitude isn’t about getting things done but about giving my attention to them. The other day my son said to me, “I don’t feel like I have enough time with you.” My attitude has been “press through, get it all done,” as my mind thinks of all the things to do. I haven’t been leaning in and listening. Humbling myself and saying, “How do you want to see me with you right now?” would be the better way… It’s a vulnerable position to open up and ask the other person what they think would feel better in your relationship.
It can seem harder to do with adults. But it can be done! One of the best things I (Helen) have seen between mothers and daughters or mothers and sons is to be able to admit the bump in the road between you and to only take into account what’s in your heart and mind. Actually, I like to use the illustration of two cups. Picture a heart on each cup side by side – one is yours and one is your mother’s or daughter’s (or son’s or daughter-in-law’s). When your cup gets bumped by another person, what comes out of yours is only your thoughts. We can say to one another, “You make me so _______” but really, they aren’t responsible for what comes out of our cup when it gets bumped.
We can learn to say to ourselves, “Am I acting out of my attitude or my spiritual mind in Christ before I speak?” This will help us to connect the invisible line between our hearts and our mind. What we think about often settles into our heart and if we aren’t careful, it creeps into our relationships and causes a lack of understanding or connection between us. We want to be loved and celebrated but we’ve told ourselves we can’t have it or we’re not worth it, and we often can distance when we need to draw closer.
How can we live out of a new mindset this Mother’s Day? How can we see ourselves as someone that Christ poured out his life for and has told us to think about the other person more than even ourselves?
Let’s start with a prayer:
Lord Jesus, I choose to see myself as you do, forgiven, loved, redeemed and reconciled to you. You have given me a new mind and a new heart and I want to camp out in the truth that you have called me into. I lay aside all the hindrances I bring into my relationship with you and to my mom or daughter. I receive your love for me and ask you to help me show this love to my family. I let go of things outside of my control, such as how others see me. I am fully accepted by you and I choose to give and to receive words and actions from a place in me that is filled by you and not by what is or isn’t there from another person. In your name I pray, A-men.
This Mother’s Day, let’s make a sign (canvas or wood, perhaps?) for ourselves that reminds us to love out of humility. And even if/when it’s not reciprocated by a mother or daughter, we can be okay that God has restored our heart and we can live in a new mindset when we know we have done all that we can do.
When you have said something like, “I want to have a good relationship with you – we do have things between us – but how do you see me coming alongside you? How can we make things better? Will you forgive me for what I have brought into our relationship?” then you know that you can have a restored heart toward the other. And that’s a gift that is worth keeping and passing onto future generations as well! May the God who created both of you be upon your heart and mind as you remember her on Mother’s Day.*** Win a copy of Mended and a Whatever Girls #WhenMomsPray Prayer Journal!***1. Join our #WhenMomsPray Prayer Challenge, 2.. Sign up to join our private Whatever Girls Moms Prayer Group Community on Facebook, 3. Answer the required questions to join the group, 4.. Comment on the “pinned post” at the top of the group. The winner will be randomly selected and announced in the group on Friday, May 10. (Already part of our Prayer Challenge? Join the Whatever Girls Moms Prayer Group Community on Facebook and comment on the post.)
When you have said something like, “I want to have a good relationship with you – we do have things between us – but how do you see me coming alongside you? How can we make things better? Will you forgive me for what I have brought into our relationship?” then you know that you can have a restored heart toward the other. And that’s a gift that is worth keeping and passing onto future generations as well! May the God who created both of you be upon your heart and mind as you remember her on Mother’s Day.*** Win a copy of Mended and a Whatever Girls #WhenMomsPray Prayer Journal!***1. Join our #WhenMomsPray Prayer Challenge, 2.. Sign up to join our private Whatever Girls Moms Prayer Group Community on Facebook, 3. Answer the required questions to join the group, 4.. Comment on the “pinned post” at the top of the group. The winner will be randomly selected and announced in the group on Friday, May 10. (Already part of our Prayer Challenge? Join the Whatever Girls Moms Prayer Group Community on Facebook and comment on the post.)
When you have said something like, “I want to have a good relationship with you – we do have things between us – but how do you see me coming alongside you? How can we make things better? Will you forgive me for what I have brought into our relationship?” then you know that you can have a restored heart toward the other. And that’s a gift that is worth keeping and passing onto future generations as well! May the God who created both of you be upon your heart and mind as you remember her on Mother’s Day.*** Win a copy of Mended and a Whatever Girls #WhenMomsPray Prayer Journal!***1. Join our #WhenMomsPray Prayer Challenge, 2.. Sign up to join our private Whatever Girls Moms Prayer Group Community on Facebook, 3. Answer the required questions to join the group, 4.. Comment on the “pinned post” at the top of the group. The winner will be randomly selected and announced in the group on Friday, May 10. (Already part of our Prayer Challenge? Join the Whatever Girls Moms Prayer Group Community on Facebook and comment on the post.)
Daniel and McIntosh are the authors of: Mended: Restoring the Hearts of Mothers and Daughters. They can be found at www.ourmendedhearts.com; Facebook: blythe.daniel; Facebook: helen.b.mcintosh; Instagram: blythe.daniel; Instagram: nannie_7777;Twitter: @blythedaniel; Twitter: @helenbmcintosh
Daniel and McIntosh are the authors of: Mended: Restoring the Hearts of Mothers and Daughters. They can be found at www.ourmendedhearts.com; Facebook: blythe.daniel; Facebook: helen.b.mcintosh; Instagram: blythe.daniel; Instagram: nannie_7777;Twitter: @blythedaniel; Twitter: @helenbmcintosh
Blythe Daniel is a literary agent and marketer with 20 plus years of experience in publishing. She is a speaker at writer’s conferences and writer for publications. She links hundreds of bloggers with millions of readers through BlogAbout. Her passion is helping authors share their unique stories. She is the daughter of Dr. Helen McIntosh and lives in Colorado with her husband and three children.
Dr. Helen McIntosh (EdD, Counseling Psychology) is a counselor, speaker, educator, and author of Messages to Myself and Eric, Jose & The Peace Rug®. Her work has appeared in Guideposts, ParentLife, and HomeLife magazines. She resides in Georgia with her husband Jim. They have two children, son Bryan and daughter Blythe, and five grandchildren.
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