I had the honor of serving on the student ministry staff at my church several years ago. I found myself in teen world 24/7. And I LOVED it. By the time I married and moved away, I had seen and heard everything. And I mean everything, fellow moms.
Female students didn’t wander into my office because life was good. No, they entered hurting. They needed direction. They needed to cry. They wanted answers and relief from pain and doubt.
“Why did I end up pregnant, doesn’t God know I am not ready to be a mother yet?”
“Why did God let my friend die in a motorcycle accident?”
“If God is our Healer, why am I still struggling with my eating disorder? I want to stop, but I can’t stop.”
“Why does God choose to save some people, and allow others to go to Hell?”
If I had personally mentored the young lady who questioned, it became all about me in a matter of nanoseconds. I felt like a failure. I loved each one of my “girls” as if they were my own daughter. Her questions about God caused me to question myself:
What if I had taught her more of the Bible?
What if I had prayed harder for her?
What if, what if, what if…
Let’s fast forward to today. I am now married and am blessed with a beautiful daughter of my own. I am doing my best to instill a love for God in her heart. But, my Katie will probably question what she believes at some point. I pray that before my mind sprints down the road of “What if,” I will remember that:
God doesn’t dwell in “What if” because He is I AM.
Several of Jesus’ followers doubted and questioned Him (John the Baptist, Thomas, and Martha are great examples). How did Jesus react? He listened, answered, loved them, and carried the weight of their doubt (along with the sins of the entire world) upon His shoulders as He hung from the cross.
Jesus does not give up on those who question. Neither should we.
If your daughter is currently questioning her faith, know that you not a failure. God loves you and He loves your daughter. Do not give up on her!
I pray that the following suggestions would provide further direction and encouragement for your mama’s heart:
• Stay calm and model on. Do not panic. Continue to model for your daughter a life of faith, trust, and joy in the Lord. Blaming yourself (or other factors) repeatedly will not help. Do not dwell in “what if,” abide in I AM.
• Take her to the Truth. Help your daughter to discover what God’s Word says about her particular situation, or encourage her to talk to a Pastor or Christian Counselor.
• Be authentic about times when you doubted and questioned. Share why you continue to follow Jesus.
• Pray. Pray for the Holy Spirit to give your daughter understanding and to give her a deeper love for God. If you daughter is willing, pray through the following Scriptures with her. If she isn’t willing, pray these verses over her during your prayer time: Psalm 119:34, 169; Proverbs 3:5-6; and Colossians 1:9-10.
• Wait and trust God. The majority of teen girls that I mentioned above wrestled with their faith for a short season. Today, their faith remains intact. I have had the honor of watching the Holy Spirit mature them into Godly wives and mommies. (Whew and a BIG Hallelujah!) Though waiting and trusting God can be challenging, remember that God isn’t through molding and growing any of us yet! I am so thankful for this, aren’t you fellow mom?
Let’s take a minute to pray for one another:
Father God, we come before You and we lift up those that are searching and questioning. God, You know their names and the plans that You have for each of their lives. We ask that Your will be done, and that their season of doubt would be a short one. Comfort and calm the mothers who feel that they have failed. Give us Your perfect wisdom, and help us to wait and trust You as we seek to raise our daughters in a way that honors You. We pray this in Jesus’ name, amen.