In the summer of 2010 we took our son to college. He chose a school in Colorado where he had been asked by to play baseball. I remember thinking, “Are you kidding me God, Colorado?” That seemed so far away. I was a mess of tears and “what if’s”. God had to have a little one on one with me. In my heart I knew he was telling me, “I am not asking you to give up your son the way I gave up mine. I am just asking you to let him go so I can take him to college and begin to grow him into the man I am intending for him to be”. God needed me to trust in Him and to let go of my son because He loved my boy even more than I could fathom. Yesterday God reminded me of those words when we said, “goodbye” to our daughter at college.
I wish letting go were really that easy…. It’s 5 am and I am awake. I want to smash alarm clock because it woke me up from the very small amount of sleep I have just gotten. I guess I am not the only one who will be tired today. My husband tells me he woke up about 1 am and slept on and off until the alarm went off. Once again fear of letting go, fear of something happening, fear of all the “what if’s” this over emotional mom could think of have come creeping in. I tell my husband I think it is because she is a girl and I am worried that someone can hurt her. I worry for her safety and I hate not knowing that she is safe in her bed. I want to call but I am not going to wake her up at 5 am when I know in my head she is fine. My heart seems to be the problem so I go to The Lord in prayer. I asked God to protect my girl. I tell him that I know how much he loves her and that I need to trust Him with her. As I prayed I began to recognize that this fear is not from God at all. It is from the enemy and I hear in my heart what God gave me as we neared the college the other day… “PERFECT LOVE CASTS OUT ALL FEARS”. That is from 1 John 4:18 and it is talking about there being no fear in God’s judgment because His genuine love confirms our salvation. God’s word however is living and breathing and in my heart I know He is telling me today that His perfect love can cover my fears.
I claimed that truth in my prayer and I told God that I was laying my girl at the foot of the cross and into His mighty hands. I asked God to take my thoughts captive, to not let fear rule me and to give me peace. As I prayed I saw a picture of a child reaching for something that was not good and a parent tapping their hand and saying “NO”. I asked God to do the same for me. In other words, every time He sees me going to pick up that “fear” again, to please give me a Holy Spirit tap and tell me to drop it like any good parent would. The song by Chris Tomlin hit me as I prayed and I sang the words quietly to myself… “Whom shall I fear? I know who goes before me I know who stands behind, the God of angel armies is always by my side”. If He is by my side than He is by both my children also. I claimed that and prayed God would send his angel armies in front, behind and to the sides of my Kiddos always.
The sun is up now and I see things in a different light. I am not going to let fear rule me. I am letting go and trusting God and I hope you are doing the same with your kids. Parenting out of fear is not a healthy way to parent and I am thankful God showed me that. If you are struggling with fear for your children please take it before God and let his perfect love cast out all your fears. The bible is full of scriptures that will help you over come fear. Psalm 27:1 (NIV) is perfect for this. The LORD is my light and my salvation– whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life– of whom shall I be afraid? Dig into God’s word and let his truth take away your fears.