(Did you miss part 1? Click here to read.)
It’s going to be uncomfortable, both for you and for them. Your stomach might be in knots, your palms sweaty, and about 50 times, you will ask yourself if you really have to have this conversation with your teen about pornography.
Yes, unfortunately, you do. And here is why:
{1} As we talked about in the last post about porn, the chance is high that your teen has been or will be exposed to porn. Accidental exposure or intentional exposure is still exposure and they are going to need your guidance so they can avoid its clutches.
{2} Porn affects how people view women. If you have a daughter and she views porn, she’s just found a whole new raft of people to whom she can compare herself. Does she know that much of what she has seen as been altered, enhanced, shaved, perfected? Does she know the often cruel conditions in which many of these “stars” live? Does she know that women are not meant to be dominated, controlled, or slaves? If you have a son, what expectations will he have of his wife or his girlfriend? What happens when the luster wears off or there is weight gain and stretch marks?
{3} Porn affects how people view sex. Do your children know that pornographic sex doesn’t even come close to what God designed for sex to be? What happens when the fantasy can’t be lived out in the flesh? What happens when the only role model that your child has about sex is what he/she sees on the screen? Is sex about threesomes? Is it about women kissing women? Is it about domination? Is it a selfish act, only meant for your personal arousal?
{4} Porn has an addictive pull just like drugs and alcohol. Like addictive drugs, pornography paves a way for a “high,” and keeps the user coming back for more. Sexual release activates hormones such as endorphins and epinephrine. When these flood the body due to porn use, there becomes a physiological correlation between watching porn and feeling good, leading porn users to want to engage more often. Mary Anne Layden, PhD, a psychotherapist and Director of Education at the Center for Cognitive Therapy at the University of Pennsylvania writes:
“The internet is a perfect drug delivery system because you are anonymous, aroused and have role models for these behaviors. To have drug pumped into your house 24/7, free, and children know how to use it better than grown-ups know how to use it — it’s a perfect delivery system if we want to have a whole generation of young addicts who will never have the drug out of their mind.”[1]
I’m going to say it again: Porn is everybody’s problem. The question is, are we willing to talk about and be part of the solution?
Have you talked to your children about porn? If so, how did it go? If you haven’t, what fears do you have about the conversation? Let’s help each other be part of the solution to stomp out pornography out of our lives.
[1] Layden, Mary Anne. (2004, November). Internet Porn Worse than Crack? Retrieved August 31, 2012 from http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2004/11/65772
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