Welcome to part two of our friendship series. You can read part one, here.
I’m so excited to introduce my dear friend Lynn Cowell today. The Whatever Girls welcomed Lynn to Spokane back in May for her “His Revolutionary Love” conference (based on her book) and her session on “bull’s eye friends” was one of the most popular among the girls. In fact, five months after the conference and we continue to revisit the wisdom Lynn shared with us about bull’s eye friends.
The Lord has appointed and equipped Lynn to work with teen girls and their moms in ways I’ve never seen. Lynn has a way of getting right to the heart of an issue and leaving her audience with power-packed information. I know you’re going to love Lynn’s article, and I hope you’ll visit the comment section and share your thoughts.
“Do You Have a Bull’s Eye Friend?”
I used to get so frustrated when I didn’t have a friend available on Friday night. My mother would say, “You’re blessed if you have one or two really good friends.”
At that time, I definitely didn’t want to hear that! I wanted to have my pick of the popular kids as my friends! One or two? I wanted way more than one or two; seven for every day of the week seemed a much better fit!
Now, I see that it’s not always better when it comes to friendships to have a bunch of friends, especially friends that are very close to our hearts.
Photo by: Danilo Rizzuti
Now I view friendships like a bullseye. Grab a piece of paper and draw a bullseye.
The Outer Ring
Let’s start with the outer ring. The outside ring is for those kids you have met and know that they are not a good fit for you. Maybe they act or talk in ways that don’t follow the advice in the Bible or maybe your interests are very different.
Don’t completely exclude these people from your life. Pray and ask the Lord to open a door for you to share Him with them.
The Next Ring
The second ring is for those people who you have just met, maybe a new neighbor or a transfer student in a school.
While you are getting to know them, keep this new friendship in the “getting to know them” stage. Keep learning more and more about them until you can see if they are a good match for a good friend for you.
The Inner Ring
The inner ring is for those friends that you have known for awhile; you know you can trust them and they can trust you. These are the types of friends you can go to the game, to the mall or just hang out with. They may or may not know Jesus, but they do have the same values as you.
Again, if they do not, pray and ask the Lord for an opportunity for you to share Jesus with them. Be careful: large amounts of unhurried time is how friendships really develop. Things such as sleep overs and camps are places where this happens very quickly.
I say be careful because we can begin to trust a friendship too soon. The secrets that are shared at the slumber party on Friday night can become the newest gossip morsel on Monday morning. Friendships need time to be proven; do not rush them.
Bull’s Eye Friendships
Then there are the bull’s eye friendships. This will be one or two of your closest friends. These friends are the ones that you trust with your deepest secrets and you can be trusted with theirs. The most important thing is that these friends love and know Jesus like you do.
This is important because you may ask for their advice or turn to them for support during a hard time. If they also believe that God’s word is the basis for wisdom, then you will expect that they will encourage you in the right direction and you can encourage them as well.
As my mother said, we are all really blessed if we have one or two bull’s eye friends. Ask the Lord to bring friends into your life that will support your faith and help you become more like Christ.
Are you looking for the encouragement you need each day to become more like Christ? I’d love to give you a free gift: 7 Day Faith Builder! Just click here and sign up to receive 7 days of devotions from my new book, “Devotions for a Revolutionary Year; 365 Days of Jesus’ Radical Love for You”. I think you’ll really like knowing that Jesus gets you and has exactly what you need each day!
More About Lynn
She loves the mountains, well-worn sweatshirts and anything combining chocolate and peanut butter. You can meet Lynn in person at a “Revolutionary Love” conference near you this spring. Click here to see upcoming events. For more from Lynn, visit her blog at www.LynnCowell.com.
Lynn and I would like to hear from you. What did you think of the Bull’s Eye Friendship model? Do you have any questions for Lynn?