The Lord has blessed me with numerous girlfriends- most of whom married before me. In fact, I have walked down the aisle in 13 different bridesmaid dresses. Yes, 13! I have given 3 maid of honor speeches. I caught more bridal bouquets than I thought humanly possible.
While I stood beside my friends at the altar, my heart ached. I was happy for them, but I also hurt because their wedding reminded me that I was seriously single. I was alone and I did not want to be.
Countless nights I prayed, asking God to give me a husband. My prayers remained unanswered for many, many years.
I turned 30 and was still husbandless. Repeated rejection and failed relationships were my usual. Phrases such as “But it is not you Tracy, it is me. This is not going to work” or “when you become more satisfied with God, He will bring you a husband” decimated my heart.
Lies bombarded my mind:
• if I was prettier a man would love me,
• I need to be quieter and less driven,
• if I were not such a HUGE sinner God would bless me with a husband.
Nothing could be further from God’s truth.
As my closet filled with satin dresses (that were every color but white), God changed me. There is a divine reason for everything, including singleness. God used my season as a single woman to teach and bless me in ways that
blow
my
mind.
Eventually, it was my turn to wear bridal white.
It was my turn to marry when God decided it was my turn to marry.
My new husband and me, January 12, 2008
My turn to wear bridal white had nothing to do with me being prettier, attaining a sinless life, or reaching some magical level of satisfaction in Him. My appearance, actions, or level of satisfaction do not and cannot control the sovereign hand of God.
Desiring holiness and finding continual satisfaction and worth in Him is what every daughter of God should want, whether she is single or married.
Some final thoughts to mothers of teens:
Examine your own opinions on the issue of singleness. How do you interact with or view single women in your church? Your daughter may not marry in her 20s, or she may choose to remain single. How will you love and support her? How can you love and support the single women in your life now?
Some final thoughts to teen girls:
God is not concerned with what wedding dress we choose, the type of reception we have, or what our floral bouquets look like. God cares about the condition of our heart- not our marital status. Who we are becoming, and how we live our lives for Him is what matters to Him.
Though I know you dream of your wedding day with your future husband, I encourage you to dream about your every day with God. You are His bride, chosen and loved. The wait to wear bridal white is a precious one indeed. Enjoy your relationship with your Heavenly Father, friends, and family now. Talk to Him about your wedding day dreams and leave the timing of it all to Him.
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